Fiction, Artwork and Poetry Prepared with the Horror Connoisseur in Mind

Saddle on up and ride on over to our corral on Friday, August 13th for the first issue of our new year! Menu #7 will be served with a Chuck Wagon Cookoff motif. We thought there was something visually appetizing about zombie longhorns and flesh eating chicks in chaps.

Many new and exciting things have been discussed 'round our campfire over the last few weeks. First, as some of you ranch hands may know, the pending movie excitement and buzz around Rycke Foreman's screenplay in pre-production, Slash, is REALLY pickin up! Please visit the website, or better yet, the Slash: It's a Real Scream fan page on Facebook to learn more and become a fan!

Second, on the visual tasting tray, Myss Miranda has been cooking up her own little dish of deliciousness with a new website focusing on her Graphic, Web and Social Media super-hero skills. The new website and pricing plans will be available soon! If you would like to share in the knowlege Myss M has to offer up on Facebook, go and give her a follow on her fanpage.

Finally, another new exciting poker we're stickin' in the fire would be an anthology. The first volume of the digital edition of 69 Flavors is officially tucked away in the Wine Cellar, so why not celebrate the creme' de le creme' of that volume and feature those writers in an anthology. This thought has been creeping around the cellar for a while now, but we've only just now begun to really apply thought to this.

So, as you can see, things are happening pretty fast and on a non-stop basis at the haRMFul Productions offices. All that means for you - things might be slow hittin' the "stands", but boy, will it be juicy when it does. Until our Chuck Wagon Cookoff is done, you can enjoy that Wine Cellar I spoke so much about.

We do hope you enjoy your stay!

-Myss Miranda
Pastry Chef, House-Front Manager

Won't you join us for a wide variety of horror-packed and slip-stream flavored paranoia? We have so many yummy selections to choose from in this Menu, I can hardly wait to get the reviews!

Slap some graffiti on our Facebook Wall and let us know what you think of the Current Menu--then TELL YOUR FRIENDS! 69 Flavors of Paranoia is a passion project, and without the love of our readers and writers, we would have nothing. So go spread our disease! You know we have the best aftertaste.

NEW to our venue options for support of the flavor, 69FoP Accesories... Mouse pads (though we prefer to use rat pads), aprons, magnets, Skins (t-shirts and hoodies). Each bear the 69FoP name and menu theme and are all available through our Zazzle store. Stop by later and see if there is anything you can't live without... New products will be added all the time! The proceeds from sales will go to support the growth of 69 Flavors of Paranoia and make sure we make it to Volume #3!

Oh because, THAT'S right ... Menu #6 is the last issue in Volume #1! We've been here almost another full year boys and girls! Can you STAND it? In the last year we have been very fortunate to run accross some of the most talented authors this dark, dreary world offers. So, to those of you who never fail to read, write for and support us, Thank YOU! Here's to a sickly sweet year ahead!

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, Menu #6.

Good Morning my loves!

First I would like to anounce dinner will be served on time this month! June 20th at 6:00 pm (pst). We have posted the invitation on our Fanpage ... stop by and RSVP to dinner so we know how many heads to prepare for.

New to the arena of support from and for our fans, readers and most importantly, our writers: We now have new products at Zazzle.com! You TOO can now own the scandalous "I Love 2 69" Magnets and T-shirts! We also have a selection of "Kiss the Cook" aprons and mouse pads specific to the menus they represent.

Thanks for stomping by, kiddies!

We can't wait for you to dig into the steaming underbelly of Menu #6! Among our steaming entrails...er, entrees, is a shocking revelation from Dracula himself, a telling look behind the cages of one very peculiar zoo, two great reasons for a facepunch! and so much more.

Submissions for Issue #1 (v2) are now open and in consideration, so send in your tastiest terror tales! Check out our Nutritional Guidelines before you submit.

Time to bait the bear again, my wicked darlings...

69FoP is drooling for your deepest, darkest stories about things that go bump in the night, love-scorned revenge and patriotic paranoia. 

Submissions deadline for Menu #6 is June 6--or #6 6/6, kiddies!--with dinner set to be served on June 20. To send in your horror fiction, poetry or artwork, go here. To review the Nutritional Guidelines for 69 Flavors, go here.

Welcome my horror lovers!

Menu #5 has FINALLY made it to the table! What a challenge is was to prepare this meal while helping prepare for the upcoming shoot of SLASH: It's a Real Scream.

But, here is it. Delicious and piping hot, just for you! Grab a napkin, an extra butter knife, and you may want to think about bringing the toothpicks. This menu has a tendency to "stick around" a little.

Eat up, Kiddies!

Hello, kiddies--

Hhmmm...the good news first, or the bad? Is that even a decision?

The bad news is that we've been swamped, and are up to our necks in muck. Trapped as such, it's quite difficult to free our arms to reach for the next manuscript, so the going is a little slow. Unfortunately, this means we won't be hitting our deadline for acceptances and rejections...

The good news is that this invading sludge is quite sweet! As some of you may know, editor Rycke Foreman has a film project in the works, and it has begun to ferment quite nicely. Nearly time to pop the cork!

Visit the SLASH website for more details, or visit our IMDb page.

Cool factoid: Todd Farmer (writer of Jason X, My Bloody Valentine & the upcoming Nic Cage movie Drive Angry and Halloween III) is interested in doing a cameo for us!

Hope this doesn't rattle the old bones too much...

We will have letters out to all by the 17th of April, and Menu #5 will be ready on May 1st. Until then, unpleasant dreams...

As life tends to do, it's movin' pretty fast.

Here comes a hint of spring... In like a Lion so they say.

For all of you who do not follow us on Facebook, now is your chance. We have FINALLY secured the web address of: http://facebook.com/69fop. Plain. Simple. To the point. I don't like to beat around the bush... We also have added the images used in Menu #4 to our Photo Album on Facebook.

Tons of fun is cookin' up in the kitchen for this issue, and things are getting VERY exciting around our neck of the woods. Please do take note of our very own Head Chef's film SLASH, which is in pre-production.

Another morsel for you loves, deadline for Menu Samples will be MARCH 13th! HOWEVER - I don't care WHO YOU ARE - I will not be answering emails, phone calls, texts or questions unless the answer is "Waitress, where's my drink?" The offices of haRMFul Productions and 69FoP will be on holiday for a few days. But, IF you've made the menu for the next meal, you'll know by March 27th. So if you're going to submit, submit on, submitter...

Taste you later-

Miss M

Greetings, kiddies.

Got your bleeding hearts in hand? Don't worry--we've got some sweet meat treats that are sure to leave a lovely bouquet of heartburn lingered in the gullet long after your last, lustful bite.

Menu #4 is now on the table. So clean up properly before The Queen lets your head roll.

As for submission for the next menu ... we are open! If you have a tasty treat for us to sample, go here.

Hello kiddies!

Submission Deadline for Issue/Menu #4 is on Saturday. So let me taste your very best horrific love stories and romantic piles of gelatinous goo. Go in and Feed our Beast. He hasn’t been fed since 2009!

We would also like to welcome our new Partner in Crime, Doc Manias Tales of Terror and thank them for the link swap! Rock on Doc! Rock on!

Menu #3 is on the table and ready for your Holiday Tasting! We do hope you enjoy the 13 items we have this go 'round. Enjoy Happy Horrific Holidays from the House Management.

When this magazine was started in 1996, we had an idea to run a new, fun and strange paranoid fact every issue. Rycke decided to pull together a new batch for you this go-round... Enjoy!

13 Paranoid Facts

Greetings to you, our dear children of the night. Allow us to take your coats as you make your way to the Dining Hall for our festive feast of feral fiction. During your stay, make sure to drop by the VIP Lounge and rub shoulders with the stars, or stop by the Wine Cellar for a tasting from our older menus.

Don't forget that we are currently sampling dishes for Menu #4, set to be served February/March of 2010--we're just dying to see what you've cooked up for us. While we don't feel the urge to impose themes upon our writers, keep in mind that February is Black History Month and the 2010 Winter Olympics, and has Valentine's Day, Groundhog Day, National Organ Donor Day and President's Day; March of course has its Ides as well as St. Patrick's Day amid National Irish-American Heritage Month, but also a plethora of smaller, more...appropriate...days, including Multiple Personality Day, Be Nasty Day, Panic Day, Everything You Think is Wrong Day, Supreme Sacrifice Day and Extraterrestrial Abductions Day.

Just some food for thought...

Hello my loves!

Once again, we find ourselves as a society coming to the close of yet another year. Wether it's been good, bad or indifferent for you, it's been a huge success in business as well as personal matters!

But with the end of the year comes the most delicious dishes yet! The carmel corn Granny makes... and those horrendous peanut butter and marshmellow things dipped in chocolate. I mean, really. What the hell WAS that? ... sorry, sidebar... I love Christmas, as you can tell from this month's decore, the flavor is sweet... so please... enjoy.

View Our Holiday Hors d'Ouvres Menu #3 on December 20th at 6pm (MT)